If you’re merely tolerating him, rather than enjoying him, you’re wasting both his time and your time. Similarly, if there’s no physical chemistry — meaning, anything less than a 5 or a 6 in that department — cut him loose. You shouldn’t force yourself into believing that he’s cute because he’s nice.You need to have some spark to start — and that spark usually grows over time after you come to love the guy.I hope you know what my answer will be – no, no, no! When I was blogging about dating, I went on literally hundreds of dates, many with men that I hadn’t chosen for myself.
So, what about the times when chemistry just doesn’t develop?Well, personally, I still don’t think you should cut the date short. I just feel like everything in your blog tells me to keep seeing this guy. Because part of me wants to give it time knowing he’s a good one, and part of me says if all I can say in this email is that he’s “great” but I can’t talk about how I actually feel about him…what’s the point? From what I am reading in your blog, I’m supposed to be happy with this guy. But I feel like I should look forward to seeing him more. Like the idea of him is better than the actual person. I should point out that I’m young (25) and attractive.And what most of us have discovered is that because of the intensity of these feelings, you may completely end up ignoring your partner’s bad qualities.
Chemistry allows us to sweep under the rug the fact that he’s a selfish asshole or that she’s a crazy bitch…and later justify this behavior and fight to stay in broken relationships that make us unhappy.Of course, it’s still a wonderful feeling, but life experience and science have taught us a few things about chemistry.1) Chemistry is temporary.Usually, chemistry lasts from 1 ½ to 3 years before it wears off. At this point, many women become disillusioned with their partners, even though all it means is that you’re finally seeing him clearly.2) Chemistry is dangerous.If you are looking for someone to spend your life with, you damn well need to enjoy their company day after day. In this case, I’d still give the guy a little longer than a month to make sure – it doesn’t sound like you think he’s awful, just ok.They don’t need to be good looking, but you need to feel happy with their face, and their touch. Feel free to comb through 800 blog posts and 41,000 comments over six years. Which brings us back to TJ, our original poster: You’ve got a guy who seems like a great guy and is doing everything right on paper.