Loners will be as generous with that time as they can, but it's not nearly as much as the average person would be.It might be easy to mistake this for ambivalence, or some reflection of how they feel about you, when really it's for the sake of their own sanity (and, ultimately, yours).
But I don't think that our desire to be alone stems from laziness, the way our generation tends to be portrayed.I mean, we all have side projects we are working on that we generally want or need to have alone time to make any progress with — a book you're writing, a recipe you're trying to knack, an event you're planning, or some other sort of solo activity. In fact, I spend all day with them — at any given moment I am usually surrounded by at least 40 people in or outside of work, and as a person who is naturally (and at times aggressively) extroverted, I enjoy this immensely.I think that is why it is a little difficult for people to reconcile this with the fact that I really, truly love being alone — and that even though I always thoroughly enjoy seeing people once I get to them, it's generally a struggle to motivate myself to get out the door first. I'd go so far as to say that this is a very Millennial state of being: we love each other very much, but we also secretly long to shut ourselves into our rooms with a book and a glass of wine, or some other hip variation of draaank and entertainment, and not talk to anyone for infinity hours.We shouldn't feel guilty for carving out time for ourselves.
It's when it seems inconsistent with the rest of your personality that it becomes awkward to try to explain — particularly to someone you're dating.If a chick wants to be alone, fine, I will leave her that way - ALONE.If you are considering meeting a girl and she tells you she's more of a loner, is that a red flag?While they might not be the ones initiating a group dance-off, they will certainly participate if they feel comfortable.I can't go ANYWHERE in public with someone who is anti-social, because that person is fighting against being a part of the experience of going out!!Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage?