Why would anyone ever knowingly insert themselves in the middle of it? For every minute he’s spending on the phone with you, for every evening you two are at dinner, he should instead be in therapy. Separation and divorce are two of the most emotionally draining, difficult, and painful life events someone can go through, and many married people will experience these stressors in their lifetime.
However, it’s important to understand potential complications and employ strategies to make dating him feel more easy, breezy.
Here are eight strategies for dating someone going through a divorce: While you shouldn’t make his divorce the sole focus of every interaction, or let him vent uncontrollably, or trash his ex (all red flags), it’s essential that you give him opportunities to share with you as his marriage was a major component of his life.
They had filed for divorce several months prior but continued living in the same home until just weeks before we met. The problem with dating a recently separated guy are numerous. If you believe that it’s ok to date a married guy, then you can stop reading right here.
Because if you’re morally and ethically ok with that, then you date really horrible men and you deserve the men you date. And when your guy cheats on you and makes your life hell, you deserve it.
You have no idea the truth, you have no idea of their marriage dynamics, and you shouldn’t be in the midst of it.
If you find out your guy is in this situation, tell him to call you back when his marriage is OVER. I didn’t start dating in earnest for seven months post-split and when I did, there was zero chance of any reconciliation ever. If you find yourself post-split and are ready to start dating, you need to think very clearly about your motives. You must focus on you, your children, your divorce proceedings, and your life first.
Their marriage hasn’t ended yet and you have no right whatsoever to insert yourself into the middle of their relationship even if he is inviting you to do so.
Let the two of them muddle through the end of their relationship without your input, distraction, or presence. He may be telling you that their marriage has been dead for years, that she is evil and psychotic and crazy, that he was ready to move on for years, that they never had sex anymore, blah blah blah.
Seriously, if you meet a guy who has just split from his wife you really have to wonder about his emotional maturity and character. He has no business jumping into a relationship with you or anyone else and, if you proceed knowing full well his history, shame on you.
He is one damaged guy and why is he jumping back into another relationship? You are enabling him to continue hiding and ignoring and deflecting.
Rather than focusing on the the length of time he has been divorced, you’ll get much better information by tuning into what he is saying and how it makes you feel.