I would like to know that he isn’t sleeping with anyone else and won’t be sleeping with anyone else while we are sleeping together.Should I have the “defining the relationship” conversation with him or should I wait and allow things to evolve more?It’s the kind of thing that will be defined naturally by him calling you every day, spending every weekend with you, introducing you to his friends and family, and so on.
But, we are technically not exclusive (meaning, we talked prior to sleeping together and said that we were both able to date others, if we wanted).However, we talked more recently and we both said that we aren’t dating anyone else, but we didn’t explicitly say that we are exclusive.Don’t leave any daylight between exclusive and boyfriend. Sometimes, when women who are new at “sexclusivity” bring it up to their men, they say something like, “So I just want to make sure you’re not sleeping with anybody else right now.” The guy says, “Nope. A man isn’t boyfriend-worthy because you feel a real connection with him.A man is boyfriend-worthy if he’s demonstrating that he’s serious about being in a relationship with you.Just wait to see if he’s acting like a boyfriend FIRST; don’t treat him like one until he’s earned it. Practice sexclusivity (particularly if you can’t handle no-strings-attached sex)I’ve written about this extensively, so I won’t rehash the entire argument.
But, in short, if you are the type of woman who does not like the feeling of sleeping with a man when you have no idea whether he’s your boyfriend, STOP sleeping with men who are not your boyfriend.Just because you had a great date, just because you had electric chemistry, just because you were at his place until 3am does NOT mean he wants you as his girlfriend and does NOT mean you are long-term compatible. You do not commit to someone who has given no indication he’s committing to you.It just means you have a serious crush with potential. That guy still needs to follow up regularly in order to prove himself worthy. Now if he’s been calling you every night, and seeing you 3 times a week for the past few weeks, then yes, you can take down your profile and focus your energies on exploring this burgeoning relationship. I am very happy (and he said that he is happy when he is with me) and like him the more I get to know him. He’s attentive (he texts and chats with me online every day), affectionate, asks me out regularly (we have seen each other multiple times every week since we met), and makes time for me (he has a lot of interests and activities).Our chemistry was immediate (physical, intellectual, and emotional) and things have been very easy so far. I am totally comfortable with the speed (how often we are communicating, seeing each other, and sharing information about ourselves).