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(When you’re a black woman in your 40s, why do all your matches look like George Jefferson?

We come up with “My ideal match is someone who loves family, has an opinion on current events, and can hold his own at a cocktail party on a Friday night, then chill with me on a lazy Saturday.” The final touch is a headline that sums up my approach to life, like a personal slogan. "It's like a slot machine—the majority of the time, you pull the lever and nothing happens, but every once in a while, there's a payoff." A deflating solution from one online dater: "Draw a face on it and send it back to him."Hoffman looks at my photos and nixes the corporate headshot and mirror selfie. Mirror selfies often give off an air of vanity.” She says the best profile shots feature the three Cs: color (vibrant shades, especially red, grab attention), context (pics that involve your hobbies, like travel or, say, clog dancing), and character (something quirky or funny, “like you in your Halloween costume”).

For the main photo, we do a close headshot where I’m smiling into the camera.

By the time he drops me off at my door, I’ve exceeded my time limit by three hours and 32 minutes.

It’s kind of like blowing a diet: You know what you’re supposed to do, but then you see dessert, and will power goes out the window.

(Even Martha Stewart, who in 2013 declared in her Match profile that she was looking for a “lover of animals, grandchildren, and the outdoors.” Martha, have you considered Raya, the private celebrity dating app?

) Locking eyes across a crowded room might make for a lovely song lyric, but when it comes to romantic potential, nothing rivals technology, according to Helen Fisher, Ph D, a biological anthropologist, senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, and chief scientific adviser to Match.

Let him disappear and make way for the partner you deserve.”On the day of the date, I meet him at a restaurant.

(Hoffman wouldn’t approve; she said to make the first date a quick drink, one hour max, but when Hunkamania suggested dinner, I couldn’t resist.) He’s just as swoon worthy in person as his photos!

Once upon a time, internet dating was a vaguely embarrassing pursuit.

Who wanted to be one of those lonely hearts trolling the singles bars of cyberspace?

I needed a trainer, someone who could help me focus—only instead of getting defined abs, I’d get a mate (hopefully, with defined abs).