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I just about manage to survive but its a struggle keeping my head above the water.
As well as financial issues I have have feelings of self-hate for what I do and as a result my confidence is at an all time low. Due to lack of money and confidence I never go out much and I get lonely and depressed.
I then use the sex lines to make myself feel better and to get a temporary rush.
When I call these lines I don't think of anything else and I get a rush of excitement that I never experience elsewhere.
I have suffered huge embarrassment with my mobile provider and have been called by them "to discuss the usage on my mobile".
I die of embarrassment speaking to them as I feel they are judging and laughing at me.
My mobile bills have run into the £ hundreds each month and some months have been over a £1000.
This obviously is causing major financial issues and I am in debt.
When I wake I feel tired and almost, hungover, from the night before. I am so ashamed of myself that I find it difficult to talk to anyone about this issue (I have never told anyone directly). I have even found that I cannot resist calling the lines during the day and sometimes when I should be working.