In case you haven’t caught on yet, us liberated girls are supposed to call this “progress.” To be sure, although it may be a form of “enlightened sexism,” the hook up culture kicks it old school when it comes to the sexual double standard.Bogle writes that the system is “fraught with pitfalls that can lead to being labeled a ‘slut.’” Hook up with too many guys in the same frat, or go too far on the first hook up, drink too much, act too crazy, dress revealing…you know the drill. Women who went too far and hit the trip wire were “severely stigmatized” by men. Now, just to be clear, I’m all for the freedom to hook up.
Once your profile is set up, Tinder will then provide you with a list of relevant matches based on your profile, interests, mutual friends on Facebook, location, sex and selected age range.
You can then either swipe right to make a match with another user, tap his/her image to view more or swipe left to continue looking through potential matches.
But I wanted…in my mind [I was thinking] like: ‘I want to be his girlfriend. I didn’t want to bring it up and just [say] like: ‘So where do we stand?
’ because I know guys don’t like that question.” Susan slept with the guy several times, never expressed her feelings, and ended the “relationship” hurt and dissatisfied.
(hint, hint: college women, please comment and let me know if I’m off here.) This book opened my eyes to the need to begin teaching girls to pull back the curtain on the all-powerful hook up culture and deconstruct its terms and conditions. : In Which I Get Taken On and Schooled in Mostly Awesome Ways – Don’t miss Salon Broadsheet’s inimitable Kate Harding responding critically to my piece.
Nona Willis Aronowitz offers an honest and compelling perspective on the importance of learning hard lessons about sex.
I want to make a billboard out of Feministing Community’s Maya Dusenberry’s poetic take on what a feminist’s responsibility is today (it’s the last paragraph). For another challenge, check out blogger Jaclyn Friedman’s post on a recent study that says casual sex does not damage young men or women psychologically.
Tinder is a FREE dating app that you can download for your phone, desktop and tablet.
Girls are no stranger to hook up culture, as my Teen Vogue readers demonstrate.
So here’s my fear: if they get too comfortable deferring to “kind of” and “sort of” relationships, when do they learn to act on desire and advocate for themselves sexually?
The app has two separate communities – one for 18 and one for younger teens aged 13-17.